Starting Therapy: What to Expect and How to Know You’re in the Right Place
Beginning therapy is a brave step, one that many people spend months or even years considering before reaching out. It’s normal to feel nervous, unsure, or even wonder, “Am I doing this right?”
If you’ve ever thought, “When are we going to start doing therapy?” you’re not alone. Let’s talk about what actually happens in the therapy process, how to know if your therapist is a good fit, and what “doing therapy” really means.
The Myth: “Therapy is Where Someone Fixes You”
Many people picture therapy like taking a car to the mechanic, you explain what’s broken, and the therapist repairs it.
But therapy isn’t about being fixed, it’s about being understood.
You’re not a problem to solve. You’re a person learning new ways to relate to yourself and your experiences. A good therapist doesn’t hold the answers for you; they help you uncover them within you. The real work happens in the space between sessions. The space when you start noticing patterns, catching moments of self-compassion, or setting boundaries that once felt impossible.
The First Few Sessions: Building the Foundation
In the beginning, therapy may not feel like “therapy” yet. That’s because those first sessions are about:
Building trust and safety – You can’t open up or process deeply until it feels safe to do so.
Learning your story – Your therapist is connecting the dots: what’s been happening, how long it’s been hard, and what helps you cope.
Clarifying goals – Sometimes goals start broad (“I just want to feel better”) and evolve as insight grows.
This stage is essential. Just like planting a garden, you can’t expect blooms on day one, you start by preparing the soil.
How to Know If Your Therapist Is a Good Fit
A good fit doesn’t mean you never feel challenged; it means you feel safe enough to explore discomfort.
Here are a few signs you’re with the right person:
You feel heard and not judged.
You sense authenticity—your therapist feels like a real person, not a robot reading notes.
You can say, “I’m not sure that’s working for me,” and they’ll listen.
You leave sessions feeling more curious than confused, even if you’re processing hard things.
If you’re not sure it’s a fit, that’s okay too. Sometimes it takes a few sessions, or even trying a different therapist, to find the right connection. It’s not failure; it’s part of the process.
What “Doing Therapy” Actually Looks Like
Therapy isn’t a linear checklist. Some sessions are about big insights; others are quiet and reflective. You might laugh one week and cry the next. Progress often looks like small internal shifts:
Feeling more grounded in your body.
Pausing before reacting.
Being kinder to yourself.
Understanding why you do what you do, and choosing differently.
That’s therapy. It’s not flashy or dramatic, but it’s deeply transformative over time.
If You’re New to Therapy, Here’s My Invitation:
Give yourself permission to simply show up.
You don’t have to know what to say.
You don’t have to have a “breakthrough.”
You just have to be willing to be curious about your own story.
At Helping Hands Counseling, therapy is a space where healing takes root. We’ll move at a pace that feels right for you. No rush, no pressure, just a steady, supportive process of growth.
