Understanding Your Nervous System: How Polyvagal Theory Can Help You Heal
Have you ever found yourself snapping at someone you care about, freezing up during a conflict, or feeling overwhelmed by anxiety for no clear reason? These experiences might not just be “in your head”—they’re often rooted in your nervous system.
When we begin to understand how our bodies respond to stress, we can start to respond with more compassion toward ourselves. That’s where Polyvagal Theory comes in.
What Is Polyvagal Theory?
Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory helps us understand how the nervous system reacts to safety and danger. It’s based on the idea that our autonomic nervous system—responsible for things like heart rate, breathing, and digestion—is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety or threat, a process known as neuroception.
When our system perceives danger, it doesn’t ask for permission. It reacts.
The Three Main States of the Nervous System
Fight or Flight (Sympathetic Activation):
Your heart races, your muscles tense, and you're ready to respond. You might feel irritable, anxious, or panicked. This state evolved to help us survive danger—but in modern life, it can get stuck “on,” especially after trauma.Freeze (Dorsal Vagal Shutdown):
If fighting or fleeing isn’t possible, your body may shut down to protect you. You might feel numb, disconnected, or helpless. This can look like burnout, depression, or even dissociation.Rest and Digest (Ventral Vagal Connection):
This is the state where you feel safe, grounded, and open to connection. Your body can regulate, heal, and engage in everyday life when you're here. This is the goal—but we don’t live here 100% of the time, and that’s okay.
Window of Tolerance: Your Nervous System’s Comfort Zone
The window of tolerance is the zone where you can think clearly, feel your emotions without becoming overwhelmed, and respond to stress in healthy ways. When you’re outside that window:
You may go above it into hyperarousal (fight or flight)
Or below it into hypoarousal (freeze or shutdown)
Life stressors, trauma, or chronic anxiety can narrow this window. The good news? With support and practice, you can expand it over time.
Somatic Symptoms: When the Body Speaks
Trauma and stress don’t just affect the mind—they live in the body. If you’ve ever had:
Tightness in your chest
GI issues that flare up with stress
Chronic pain or fatigue
Racing heart, shallow breath, or muscle tension
...your body may be communicating what words cannot.
These symptoms are real, and they’re not “just stress.” They're signs your nervous system is overwhelmed and needs support—not shame.
Healing Through Awareness and Regulation
Understanding your nervous system is the first step toward healing. In therapy, we can use tools from Polyvagal Theory, somatic practices, and trauma-informed care to help you:
Learn what triggers your nervous system
Practice grounding and regulation techniques
Increase your ability to stay in your window of tolerance
Reconnect with your body in safe and empowering ways
You Are Not Broken—Your Body Is Trying to Protect You
The way your body responds makes sense, especially when we consider what you’ve been through. You’re not overreacting or too sensitive. Your nervous system is doing its best to keep you safe—even if those responses no longer serve you.
At Helping Hands Counseling, we integrate nervous system education, Polyvagal-informed therapy, and somatic tools to help you move from survival to connection.
